Merry Little Christmas
by Alicia Blade
Summary: Mamoru receives a Christmas card from Usagi and wants to get her something special in return, but her Christmas list is full of impossible wishes. A little love and imagination can go a long way.


And now for something BRAND NEW!  
A HUGE thanks to Stormlight-chan, the best beta-reader a returning author could ask for!

May all your wishes come true. Happy Holidays!

_ Have yourself a merry little Christmas.  
Let your heart be light.  
From now on our troubles  
Will be out of sight._

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,  
Make the Yule-tide gay.  
From now on our troubles  
Will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,  
Happy golden days of yore.  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years  
We all will be together  
If the Fates allow.  
Hang a shining star  
On the highest bough,  
And have yourself  
A merry little Christmas now.

Merry Little Christmas  
Alicia Blade

"Water bill. Apartment bill. Telephone bill… Like I ever use the phone. 7 Movies for a Penny. Electric bill. You've Won a Million Yen… Did I ever ask to win a million yen? Credit card bill. Christmas card. First Japan Bank statement. A Year Subscription to… Time… for… a Christmas card?!"

Mamoru dropped the rest of the daily mail on the floor of the elevator and held up a single red envelope before his nose in shock. There was a small snowman sticker in the corner where a return address should have been. In the center read his name, Chiba Mamoru, and his address—all in gold lettering and large flowery handwriting.

Hearing the familiar ding as the elevator reached his floor, he gasped and struggled to begin gathering his fallen mail, scooping the papers messily into his arms. His gaze looked up just as the doors began to close again and, springing from his crouched position, he threw himself into the hallway, muttering a curse as the doors closed on his outstretched leg, still half way in the elevator, before they opened slowly again. Groaning, Mamoru rose to his feet and glared back at the small metal box before sweeping down the hallway toward his apartment.

At the door, he took a moment to juggle the stack of mail again, digging through his pockets for his keys—mistaking two for the correct one—before finally opening the door and entering.

Once inside, Mamoru dropped all of the mail again, along with his keys, and stepped into the center of the living room with that simple red envelope still in his hands.

There he continued to turn the card over a few times in his palm as if he had never seen one before (and in truth, he never had; not addressed to him, at least). He even took a moment to hold the envelope up to the plain globe ceiling lamp in the center of the room before he realized that he had yet to turn it on, and brought the letter back to eye level again. Inhaling and holding a deep breath, he steadily reached for the corner of the envelope, slowly tearing a small hole before sliding his finger along the length of the top until a torn edge allowed a white card to peek through. Gulping, he pulled the card out and stared dazedly at its front.

It was white with a pastel watercolor picture of a cottage in the woods covered completely in snow. There were lights along the eves and a Christmas tree viewable through the front window. Three children stood in the front yard with songbooks in their hands. Slowly, Mamoru opened the card, looking at the script font in the center of the inside. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Then, in that same large, girly handwriting, "Sending you love for the holidays, Usagi." 

------ 

"So she sent me a Christmas card. It's not the end of the world, Mamoru. It's just a piece of paper, after all. Just a piece of paper… with a pretty picture… and fancy writing… and… love?! Whatever possessed the girl to say 'love'? To me?" Mamoru sighed, turning the card over in his grasp a few times, though refusing to open it and read the curious message yet again. Looking up, he could see the Crown Center Arcade appear on the corner of the next block, the windows decorated with frost and painted snowflakes. His pace unconsciously slowed, his feet stalling on the pavement below before his mind had time to comprehend his body's actions.

"What if she did send one to everyone? To Motoki, to all of the girls, maybe even to Motoki's sister. She probably did. And she probably wrote 'Sending you love' on every single one of them. I bet she didn't even think twice before jotting mine down." He pondered silently for a moment, gazing down at the carolers on the face of the card. "So I have nothing to prove and Motoki will think I'm paranoid if I ask him about it." His shoulders slumped over drastically, a pouting frown creasing his lips. Below his breath, Mamoru muttered, "Never wanted a Christmas card any-"

"What are you standing there for, Mamoru-Baka?" yelled a familiar voice, followed by a giggle and a whap on Mamoru's head. He yelped, reaching his hand up to rub gingerly at the ache left by Usagi's schoolbag.

"What was that for?" he growled at her, spinning around to stare into cheerful blue eyes.

She only shrugged in response.

Rolling his eyes, Mamoru straightened his posture, thrusting one hand into his pocket and shaking the other in her face. "You should be more careful Odango Ata… nani?" Usagi's cross-eyed gaze stared at Mamoru's hand held only inches from her nose, her sky-blue eyes wide with curiosity.

"Ack!" Yelping, Mamoru withdrew his hand, thrusting the all-too-noticeable card into his other pocket. "Ano… that was… um…"

"You got my card?"

He chewed the inside of his lip for a moment, before nodding quietly. "Yeah."

Usagi blinked, her eyes rising to meet his again. She matched his nod with one of her own. "Oh."

They stood awkwardly in the freezing, frost-ridden wind for a moment, staring at each other, before Mamoru nervously cleared his throat. "Ano… arigatou?"

Piercing her lips together, Usagi let her stare fall to the sidewalk. "I would have gotten you a gift, but… I didn't know what you would want."

Mamoru gawked at her, struggling to loosen the knot in his throat. "Naw, you shouldn't spend your money on me."

She shrugged silently. Again the quiet air pressed around them.

"Well I was just heading to the arcade…" Mamoru mumbled, thrusting his thumb in the direction of the popular hangout. "Would you like to come with? I mean, it looks like you were headed there anyway."

"No, thank you. I should go home. Mom and I are baking cookies for Santa Claus tonight."

Chuckling, Mamoru resisted the urge to tease her about believing in such make-believe upon noticing the adorable twinkle in her eye when she thought of the sweets they would create. Smiling, he gently tweaked her nose between his fingers, watching her eyes widen as she glanced up at him with curiosity. "I'll see you around then."

On shaky knees, he turned to continue his original jaunt.

"Merry Christmas, Mamoru-baka!"

"Hm?" Stalling momentarily, he turned to face her, just as a miniature grin climbed over his lips. "Merry Christmas, Odango-chan." He went to leave again, but a sudden thought forced him to stop and turn back once more. "Wait, Odango Atama?" he called out suddenly, forcing her to turn back to him. "What do you want for Christmas?"

Usagi stared at him in silence and took a long moment to answer, trying to ascertain if he was asking in seriousness. When his expression remained stoic, she bit her lower lip and raised her gaze skyward. Finally, she shrugged and smiled at Mamoru with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"Nothing that would fit under a Christmas tree."

"I didn't say it had to fit under a Christmas tree."

Usagi laughed, forcing Mamoru's lips to curl up as well.

"In that case, I'd like the moon, a rainbow, and…" She paused, her gaze flittering to Mamoru's, then down to the sidewalk.

"And?"

"Promise not to laugh?"

He thought about it, aware that just her adorable, barely-pouting face made him want to explode in giddy chuckles. He somehow refrained. "I promise."

Usagi inhaled a deep breath. "I want a kiss."

Mamoru caught himself after stumbling backward only one little step. She didn't seem to notice, so fascinated had she become with a crack in the pavement.

She didn't mean from him. Did she?

"From who?" Did his voice really sound so dry and nervous?

Usagi shrugged, but then answered anyway in a tone barely above a whisper. "The dreamiest man I know." Then her voice was back and adamant. "And not under mistletoe, either. Those don't count."

Even with the painful thudding of his heart, Mamoru found the ability to chuckle as Usagi crossed her arms in stubborn defiance.

"Well, good luck, Usagi-chan," he said, grinning at the surprised look as she finally raised her eyes to him. Thrusting his hands into his pockets again, he forced himself to walk slowly away before he enacted what he was beginning to realize HE wanted for Christmas—a kiss from the prettiest girl he knew. Over his shoulder, he called, "Ja ne, Odango. I hope you get everything on your list."

And he did.

He truly, truly did.

----- 

"Why was Santa's little helper depressed?" Motoki looked at Mamoru, a goofy grin stretched over his cheeks. "Come on! Give up? Because he had low ELF esteem!" Cackling, he scratched the back of his head. "Where do I come up with these? Okay here's another one! What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! Get it? Frostbite? Frost… bite… Come on, that one was funny!" Motoki scowled, throwing his rag down onto the counter and leaning over to poke the silent Mamoru in the forehead. "What are you, a zombie?"

Pulling away, Mamoru glared at the blonde and ran a hand through his thick hair. "You have too much time on your hands, Motoki-kun."

Motoki rolled his eyes, rubbing his hands down the front of his apron. "Come on Mamoru, it wouldn't kill you to get into the Christmas spirit for once."

With a sigh, Mamoru raised his eyes to the white ceiling overhead. "You know, you're right."

"Now I know you're not one for holidays, but maybe if… what? I'm right?"

A small grin crossed Mamoru's features. "Yes, you're right. In fact, I think I'm going to go hunt me down a reindeer!" Mimicking the rifle in his hand, Mamoru jumped off the stool, chuckling as Motoki caught onto his sleeve and pulled him back to the counter.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," he sang beneath his breath, reaching beneath the counter to bring up a pot of coffee and refill Mamoru's cup. He accepted thankfully, sipping at the top of the mug.

"It's really empty in here," he commented absently.

"Only four days left to shop. Everyone's down at the mall, or at home with their family."

Mamoru nodded, picturing Usagi baking cookies at home, her cheeks covered in flour, a pretty pink apron tied around her waist. With a silly smile, he unconsciously fingered the card in his pocket, ignoring the coffee mug still posed just before his mouth.

Furrowing his brow, Motoki tilted his head to the side, watching Mamoru curiously. Finally, he held his hand up, shaking it in front his friend's misplaced stare. Immediately shaking himself from his reverie, Mamoru glanced up at Motoki and straightened his back.

"Yes?" he huffed.

Arching an eyebrow, Motoki let his head fall onto his palm, tapping his fingers against his temple. "Where did you just run off to?"

Shaking his head, Mamoru took a large swig of the coffee, before setting it down on the counter. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh."

"So what are your plans this evening?" Mamoru successfully changed the subject, glancing down at his watch.

"Going out with Reika."

Mamoru nodded. "Where are you taking her?"

"Ice skating. She loves ice skating," Motoki preened. "What about you, got plans?" "Take a wild guess."

"Aw, poor Scrooge." Motoki sighed, ruffling his own bangs. "Would you like to join us?"

Mamoru scowled . "No way am I going be a third wheel where you two are involved."

"Oh, I'm sure it'll be fun."

"No."

Sighing, Motoki leaned against the counter again. "Fine, suit yourself." Glancing around the small café, he reached for the coffee pot again. "Be right back. Try not to miss me too much," he winked before leaving to wait on a few customers.

"I make no promises," Mamoru mumbled to himself, sipping at his drink again. "Gods, how am I going to ask him about this card?" he whispered, fingering the paper in his pocket. "He'll think I'm crazy for caring so much about something so little. Why do I care so much about this, anyway?"

"Have you talked to Usagi today?"

His eyes bulging, Mamoru stuttered something inaudible, turning to see Motoki coming around the counter again. "Ano… uh… no. Well, a little…. Why?"

Motoki shrugged, pulling a red envelope out from beneath the counter and sliding it across the table. "She left that for me when I was on break this morning. I wanted to thank her for it, but she was gone as soon as I got back."

Oddly nervous, Mamoru picked up Motoki's card, trying his best to hide the smile that desperately wanted to appear. 'Way too easy,' he thought, then asked aloud, "What is it? A Christmas card?"

"Yup."

"Can I read it?"

Motoki eyed him awkwardly, but then gestured casually toward the envelope. "Sure. Go ahead."

Steadily opening the red envelope, Mamoru pulled the card out from its hiding, glancing down at the familiar pastel picture with the cottage, snow, and children. Flipping the card open, he saw the same gold print commanding, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." And below, Usagi had written (sweetly and with obvious love and adoration, to one of her best friends and her old—if not recent—crush) "Happy Holidays Motoki-onii-san, Usagi."

Blinking in confusion, Mamoru read it again, then again, before slowly closing the card and setting it into the fold of the envelope and pushing it back to Motoki.

"It was a nice gesture," Motoki started, picking the card up to read it again, as if he had forgotten what it said. "I'm sure she would have gotten you one too, you know, if you two didn't fight all the time," he chuckled. "Still, I'm kind of sad I didn't get to thank her for it and I don't know if I'll see her again until after the holi-"

"I have to go."

"Nani? Mamoru?" Motoki stared after his friend as he bolted for the door, his green jacket in tow behind him and a half-full cup of coffee still on the counter. "What did I say?"

---- 

With the card held between both hands, Mamoru paced through the center of his living room, looking down on the golden words.

"She just wanted to be nice," he thought out loud. "She just wanted to spread the Christmas joy, the Holiday cheer—she didn't mean anything by this. She couldn't have. She hates me." He sighed longingly. "But then, why…? I mean, it isn't like she signed it 'Love, Usagi' or anything like that. But she might as well have, right? 'Sending you love…' Oy, Odango, what are you trying to do to me?"

Collapsing into the corner of his sofa, Mamoru tossed the card onto the coffee table, before closing his eyes with a loud moan. "Honestly, why is this getting to me so much? Because I've never gotten a Christmas card before? Because it came from Usagi? Because I thought she hated me which made our relationship so safe and so secure but now… now…" His eyes slowly opened, his blue gaze washing over the ceiling. "There may be a chance for her to—or for me if I wanted to—to… what? To what, Mamoru?" The tone of his voice swiftly changing to shameful, he buried his face in his hands.

"Why did you have to do this? I was _content_ teasing you. I was _content_ watching you every day after school even when you didn't know I was. Why now, right when everything was getting so comfortable between us, did you have to go and make me think about what things could be like. Maybe… what things should be like?"

Slowly, Mamoru slumped into the couch arm. "So now what do I do? Am I supposed to give you something, too? I could give you a card!" Taking a moment to ponder, Mamoru slowly sat up to look around the living room.

"What would I say?" he whispered, standing to his feet. "Merry Christmas…" He walked over to the small desk by the television. "Happy Holidays?" Digging through the stacks of envelopes and stationery. "I hope you have a great New Year." He threw the stacks of envelope and stationery to the floor, opening a drawer to search through the old bills and receipts. "I hope I can spend more time with you in the New Year. I hope we can become friends." Growling, he slammed the drawer shut. "I think I love you and I don't have a single card: Christmas, birthday, nothing!"

Inhaling a deep breath, he whirled around, staring into the expanse of his living room. "Then I'll tell you in person."

Mamoru strutted toward the closet, sweeping his coat into his arms, before freezing. "What? Am I crazy?! I can't just go over there and tell her…" Pausing a moment, he frowned. "Tell her… I… love… her." The coat slid from his grasp. "Since when?" he muttered to himself, glancing at the clock.

"2:30 p.m. Is that all?" Chewing on his lip, he once again bent down to reach for his coat, steadily sliding his arms through the sleeves. "I've never felt this way before, but I'll figure it out on the way. Yes, I'll figure it out on the way." 

----- 

Mamoru never made it to Usagi's house, though. His determination, which had still been going strong, dropped drastically the moment her house came into view. He froze on the sidewalk and gawked at it, the card still clasped in his hand.

"What on earth am I thinking?" he muttered to himself, and he could not force his feet to move one way or the other. "Honestly, do you think you're just going to waltz up to her and sweep her off to some deserted isle and live happily ever after? She gave you a greeting card, not a love letter." He sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair. The wind cut through his blazer and the cold, finding him stationary, began to worm its way against his skin.

"I have to come up with something for her. Something special. Something she really wants, and no one else can give her. Something she'll never forget. But what?" He stood on the sidewalk a long time, arms folded, brow furrowed in concentration, ignoring the people who gave him awkward looks as they passed.

"Maybe a necklace? But any boy could give her a necklace. Then… a stuffed animal? Something big and soft and cuddly. I could put my cologne on it! God, how corny is that? She'd probably be freaked out. Maybe tickets to a show or a concert or something. But I don't know what she would want to go see. Why is this so hard? God, because I already know what she wants. The moon, a rainbow, and…" Groaning, he dragged a hand through his hair. "Two impossible gifts and one that I would love to give her, but that she probably wouldn't accept. Not from me at least.

"But she deserves all that and more. She deserves to have her wishes granted. I would do anything to give her her heart's desire. But how?" 

---- 

"Usagi, could you get the door?"

"I'm covered in flour!"

"Shingo, get the door!"

"Why do I have to?"

"I have to watch the cookies. Shingo!"

"Fine!"

Dropping his video game controller on the carpet and grumbling beneath his breath, Shingo trumped down the stairs and opened the front door. A blast of cold air surrounded him. Glaring, his eyes fell on a brown package on the doorstep. "Another gift from Grandma?" Picking it up, he read the label and rolled his eyes before closing the door. Trudging into the kitchen, he dropped the package unceremoniously on the counter. "Usagi, it's for you," he muttered and headed back up toward his bedroom.

Looking up from a bowl full of batter, a wooden spoon in hand, Usagi blinked curiously at the package. "Another gift from Grandma?" Dusting her hands off on her apron, she picked up the box and noted her name but no return address.

"Well open it," her mother, Ikuko, prodded, setting out sugar cookies on a layer of paper towels.

Usagi quickly ripped off the tape and opened the cardboard flaps. Pushing aside packing peanuts, she slowly lifted out a small gray box, barely larger than her palm. Opening it, she gasped.

"What is it?" Ikuko asked over her shoulder.

Usagi hesitated, rubbing her hands gently along a slender gold chain. "A necklace," she whispered.

Ikuko moved beside her, looking at the beautiful gift. The necklace had a single round pendant made of a stone that Usagi had never seen before. It was like a polished rock, mostly white but with veins of blue, silver, and pale yellow.

"How beautiful," her mother whispered. "That must be an antique. I haven't seen such a nice moonstone in a long time."

"Moonstone?"

"Yes. Haven't you ever seen one before? That's a very nice necklace, honey. Someone must think you're very special. Do you know who it's from?"

Sighing wistfully, Usagi lifted the jewelry from the box and clasped it around her neck, loving the feel of the cold metal on her skin and the weight of the stone on her collarbone. She didn't answer the question, but by her daughter's smile, Ikuko knew that the necklace was from someone that Usagi deemed very special as well.

With another sigh, Usagi murmured, "He gave me the moon."

----- 

The next day Usagi had promised to meet the girls for some extra Christmas-sale's shopping, but as soon as she could, she escaped to the arcade. Her eyes took a quick survey of the room and seeing that Mamoru wasn't there, she approached the counter and hopped onto a stool. "Have you seen Mamoru-san today?" Usagi asked Motoki, nonchalantly kicking her heels. Motoki paused in pouring a cup of hot chocolate and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Not since early this morning. Why?" He asked, frowning speculatively and handing her a cup of hot cocoa without her needing to order it.

Usagi shrugged and licked at the top layer of whipped cream. "Just wanted to ask him something. It wasn't important."

"What did you want to ask him?"

"Nothing."

He laughed. "Usagi-chan, it isn't like you to keep secrets. Has he been bothering you again?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

Usagi beamed up at Motoki with the most innocent grin she could muster. "It wasn't important, really, Motoki-san! Hey, can I have more whipped cream?"

He chuckled and took her mug. "Sure thing, but keep this up and we won't have any for the rest of the customers. By the way, thanks for the card. That was really sweet of you."

"Oh, I'm glad you liked it. I think Mamoru appreciated his, too, though at first I wasn't sure if he would."

Motoki's eyebrow shot up again. "You gave one to Mamoru?"

"Yeah. He didn't say anything?"

"No, he didn't." He hummed in amusement, layering the hot cocoa way over the top with whipped cream. "But before I forget, he left something for you this morning."

Usagi sat up straighter. "For me?"

Motoki pulled a brown package out from beneath the counter. "Yeah, it's been driving me crazy all day. Do you know what it is?"

She bit her lip curiously and shook her head before slowly peeling it open. The inside was filled with white tissue paper. Pulling it out, she peered inside and laughed.

"What? What is it?"

"A rainbow! A hundred rainbows!" she squealed, pulling out a glittering glass prism that, indeed, sent hundreds of rainbows dancing over the countertop.

Motoki blinked in confusion as Usagi held the glass sculpture lovingly to her chest for a moment, before hopping off the stool. "Thanks a ton, Motoki-onii-san! I'll see you tomorrow!" she cheered and dashed out of the arcade, an empty brown box and full cup of hot chocolate still sitting on the counter.

Scratching his head, Motoki muttered, "Sometimes I'm not so sure about that girl." 

----- 

"The dreamiest man she knows, huh?" Mamoru murmured, staring up at his ceiling. He was lying on his living room sofa, going over Usagi's final request again and again in his mind. "But who on earth is that?"

But Mamoru knew that he didn't really want to know who she considered to be the dreamiest man she knew, and he certainly didn't want her kissing whoever he was. Unless, of course, she'd been referring to him, but despite how much he wanted that to be true, he knew it was terribly unlikely. But the thought of her kissing someone—anyone—else made him sick to his stomach. How could he possibly fulfill this wish without ruining his own Christmas dreams? Then, a sudden thought came to Mamoru. Gasping, he sat up, wondering why he hadn't thought of it before. The answer now seemed so glaringly obvious.

Mamoru recalled a conversation he had overheard between Usagi and her friends months ago in which Usagi adamantly declared her adoration of Tuxedo Kamen.

He could give her Tuxedo Kamen.

Yes, he could give her the superhero she dreamt of. The man she always dreamt of. The dreamiest man she knew, perhaps not personally, but could that only make it more perfect?

True, she wouldn't know it was him. True, she would probably be very curious as to how Mamoru had fulfilled her third wish and he may have some very prying queries sent his way, but it would make her happy. Elated and ecstatic, even. And that would be worth anything.

-----

The day had proven to be a slight disappointment to Usagi. For two days in a row she had not seen Mamoru or had the chance to thank him for the gifts. And all day she kept thinking about the third thing she had asked him for and wondered if he would try to grant that as well. But in order for him to give her a kiss, well… he'd have to kiss her.

But she hadn't even seem him that day, much less kissed him, so she instead crawled into bed at a frighteningly early hour, hoping tomorrow, Christmas Eve, would bring better luck, and was fast asleep when the clock clicked to midnight. But not a moment later a gentle tapping stirred her from her dreams. She snuggled deeper into the pillows, passing it off as the house settling, but it was soon heard again. Her blue eyes opened slightly and looked at the digital clock that blurred in her vision.

Tap tap tap.

Grumbling in confusion, she sat up and looked around. Was there a mouse in her room? Was Luna tapping her claws against something? But then she remembered that Luna was with Artemis for the holiday and there was no way her cleanliness-obsessed cat would let the house become infested with mice. Usagi scratched her head and looked around, but nothing appeared out of place.

Tap tap tap.

It was a patient and gentle sound, and Usagi finally pinpointed that it was coming from the window. Her first thought was Rudolph. She pushed the blankets back. Her second thought was Santa Claus. Her feet hit the carpet. Then she remembered the tree that stood right outside her window. She peeled back the curtains. Perhaps its branches had finally grown long enough to hit the side of the house. She opened the window.

Usagi gasped, her mouth dropping as the cold winter air rushed over her skin.

Tuxedo Kamen was crouched in the branches of the tree, his cape billowing behind him, the hint of a smile on his lips. He looked so suave and confident—a façade that completely betrayed the nervous, fearful pounding of his heart.

"Tuxedo… Kamen-sama?" she whispered, her hands trembling on the window pane.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered back and held out a red rose. She took it slowly, wrapping her fingers around the thornless stem and letting her stunned eyes take in the full beauty of its color, before raising them again to the white mask of her personal savior.

"What? Why…?"

"May I come in?" he asked gently, making no move to do so until she nodded and stepped aside. He gracefully stepped into the room and she closed the window mechanically behind him, her mind racing and her entire body shaking—and not from the cold.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked uncertainly as he towered over her.

"Probably." His voice was teasing and sweet. "I hope this is better than visions of sugar plums."

She smiled, still shocked and confused, but feeling a bit more sure of herself with the window closed. The situation took on a strange feeling of normalcy, and besides, she was on her own turf. The comfort of her own bedroom erased many of the feelings of uncertainty as she looked up at the tuxedo-clad hero. "A hundred times better," she confided, fiddling with a button on her flannel pajamas. "How did you know where I live?" She didn't think to ask him how he knew who she was, just figured that he was so brilliant and wonderful in every way, it probably wasn't even difficult for him to discern her true identity. And she didn't mind. As long as he still liked her, he could know everything about her.

Tuxedo Kamen smiled. "We superheroes have our tricks."

She couldn't help but smile back, reveling in the dizzy fluttering of her stomach when he looked at her. "What are you doing here?"

He took a step toward her, cautiously, afraid that he might frighten her. "I came to give you a Christmas gift, if you want it."

"Other than the rose?"

"Other than the rose."

"What is it?"

His smile became more serious and a gloved hand reached out to touch her cheek. Her heart melted at the caressing feel of satin, her mouth parting as waves of anticipation and delight flooded through her nerves.

"A kiss," he whispered.

She gulped, her eyes widening as a blush quickly covered her cheeks. "A… a kiss?" she squeaked.

Tuxedo Kamen nodded. "Only if you would accept it," he reminded gently, silently thanking the dark for concealing his own reddening face.

Despite her trembling shoulders and somersaulting stomach, Usagi managed to nod. Unconsciously licking her lips, she whispered breathlessly, "I would."

Tuxedo Kamen's mouth twitched in a smile before he slowly stepped closer to her and placed his hands tenderly on her hips. Her eyes fluttering closed, Usagi tilted her head up toward him and wet her lips again. A moment later she felt his breath against her and then his lips were on hers, caressing her mouth with a single, beautiful kiss before pulling slowly away.

"Merry Christmas, Usako," he whispered against her, his nose tickling hers.

Usagi sighed happily in response and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him again, quickly feathering his lips with her own. "Thank you for the lovely gift," she whispered when she trusted her voice again.

"My pleasure," he said and slowly removed his hands from her sides and stepped away. She opened her eyes to look at him before impulsively reaching out her own hands to grasp onto the material of his cape before he could go.

"Please don't leave," she said pleadingly, staring up at his mask. "Please stay. I need you."

He took her hands and kissed her knuckles. "No, Usako. You've done fine so far without me. You're an amazing girl. You're the most wonderful girl I've ever met. Never forget that someone loves you very much."

"But I do need you. Don't go." She collapsed against him, tying her arms around his body beneath the satin cape and burying her face into the crisp white shirt that smelled like roses and autumn breezes and wood stoves. His arms immediately pulled her close, cradling her body, his hands rubbing her back soothingly. Craning his neck, he pressed a kiss on her forehead and grinned down on her trusting face. Her lips curled up at the touch. "Oh, Tuxedo Kamen, I've loved you from the first moment I saw you."

His heart wasn't sure if it should dance in ecstasy or cringe because it wasn't true. He kissed the top of her head again. "If only," he murmured into her hair.

"Won't you tell me who you are?" she pleaded, looking up and searching the face for a familiarity that she felt but could not place.

Tuxedo Kamen smiled sadly. "I can't. Trust me, you wouldn't want me to."

She pouted adorably. "But of course I would! How can we be together if I don't know who you are?"

Mamoru's heart stopped for a brief moment beneath the costume; his body tensed around her delicate form. He had not considered this possibility. In the hours he had spent planning for this night, he had laid it out perfectly: he would see her, woo her, kiss her, and leave her to have sweet dreams and hopefully the best Christmas ever. He had not expected that she would want more, expect more. But why shouldn't she? The man she'd been pining for admits he feels the same way; a romantic relationship would seem inevitable. She had no way of knowing this was to be a one night occurrence.

But telling her his identity would break her heart.

Would not telling her break it too?

"I…" He could think of nothing to say to her as he stared into her beautiful, serene little face. After nervously pursing his lips together, he sighed and slowly bent down to kiss her lips once more. She returned it immediately, fervently, though it was short. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I wish that I could. I do want to. If I didn't think it would hurt you, I would…"

"Hurt me? But I won't be in anymore danger than I already am."

He chuckled wryly. "If I thought I was putting you in ANY danger by being here, I wouldn't be, Usako. That isn't why. I just… trust me, you wouldn't be happy with knowing. And I… I would rather know that you love me, at least some part of me. I would rather that than if you were to hate all of me. Do you understand?"

She frowned, clearly not understanding. "I could never hate any of you."

He gulped, remembering her note on the Christmas card. "Perhaps, but…you wouldn't love me. I wish that you would."

She began to protest, but he silenced her with two fingers against her lips. "It's late, Beautiful."

She sighed, her blue eyes watching him longingly, but she didn't argue. Instead, she slowly loosened her grip from his waist and made her way to the bed. "Fine," she mumbled, pretending to be bitter. Tuxedo Kamen smiled down on her as she crawled beneath the covers. "Do we know each other, though? In civilian form, I mean."

"Yes," he answered honestly.

"If I guessed, would you tell me?" she asked, a twinkle of mischief creeping into her gaze as Mamoru pulled the covers around her.

"Fine," he said, knowing that his true identity wouldn't be on her list.

Usagi stared at the ceiling for a moment in concentration, chewing on her lip. As Mamoru brushed her bangs off of her forehead, she asked, "Motoki-san?"

"No," he said, his heart cringing in jealousy, although he had known it would be her first guess.

"I didn't think so."

Tuxedo Kamen sat down beside her, lightly massaging her hands between his as she began to list boys that Mamoru didn't know, presumably boys from her school, and he answered "no, no, no" to them all. Finally, she seemed to have exhausted her supply, and herself, as her eyelids grew heavier.

"Hm… that's almost everyone I can think of."

"Almost?" he asked sarcastically, feeling as though she'd just named half the city's male population.

"Mmhmm. Well, there's one more, but even to mention him would be silly." She yawned.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Because he would never like me. He's…" She sighed wistfully, her drowsy thoughts beginning to slip away from her. "He's too smart and handsome. Actually, I guess…" She yawned again. "He is a lot like you. Except he doesn't like me at all."

"And if I was that guy?" he asked as he watched her slipping into sleep.

Her lips twitched upward. "Life doesn't get that perfect," she said, so quietly that Tuxedo Kamen wasn't sure she even knew she had said it as slumbering dreams reached for her.

"What's his name?" he gently prodded.

It was a moment before she spoke and Tuxedo Kamen thought she had fallen asleep, until a tiny voice mumbled, "Chiba Mamoru?"

Tuxedo Kamen watched her silently until her breathing was deep and even, before removing his mask and hat and leaning over to kiss her one last time, not having to conceal the adoring smile or the affectionate sparkle in his blue eyes.

Mamoru answered, "Yes."

------ 

The arcade was packed on Christmas Eve, mostly with children and teenagers enjoying every moment of winter break. Mamoru was grateful as it kept Motoki running around from table to table and allowed him to sit alone at the counter, drinking his coffee and eavesdropping on the very fascinating conversation taking place at the booth directly behind him.

"It wasn't a dream!" Usagi insisted to her four best friends. "I still have the rose to prove it! And it isn't wilting at all. It's the most beautiful flower ever. It could only have come from him."

"Fine, we believe you, Odango Atama," said Rei. "It's just so weird! Why would he show up at your house like that?"

"Do you think he knows, Usagi?" asked Ami in a hushed voice that Mamoru barely picked up on.

"Well of course he knows! And he said that we know each other in real life! But I couldn't figure out who he was. I must have listed about every guy I know, but he said he wasn't any of them."

"Usagi," Rei scolded gently, "it isn't a good thing that he knows. What if he's dangerous?"

"He is not dangerous! If he wanted to hurt me, he had the perfect opportunity to, but he was very sweet and gentle…"

"Usagi-chan! What did you _do_ with him?" Minako asked in a scandalous tone, nudging Usagi with her elbow. Mamoru had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.

"Not that!" Usagi squealed. "Minako, you hentai! We just kissed!"

"Was there tongue?"

"No! Ew!"

"You wouldn't be saying 'ew' if there had been, I bet," chuckled Makoto.

"So is he a good kisser?" Minako pressed and all of the girls intuitively leaned forward as Mamoru unconsciously leaned back, his ears perked.

Usagi moaned quietly in remembrance. "It was… magical."

The girls sighed in unison.

A huge grin spread over Mamoru's mouth and he whispered to himself, "Yes, it was," before taking a long drink of his coffee.

"Details, Usagi! We need details!"

"Well, first he said he wanted to give me a Christmas gift, and when I asked what it was, he said a kiss. But only if I wanted him to. He was very gentlemanly."

"Yadda, yadda, get to the good part!"

"I'm getting there! So I said I wouldn't mind and he stepped forward and put his hands on my waist. And I closed my eyes and then… he kissed me."

The girls swooned.

"It was very short and very soft and he tasted like espresso and chocolate."

Mamoru's smile was so big that his cheeks were beginning to hurt.

"Then what?"

"Then he said, 'Merry Christmas' and I thanked him and he said it was his pleasure and he went to leave but I asked him to stay and tell me who he was. He said… he said I wouldn't want to know. That I wouldn't like him anymore if I knew his true identity, but he said that if I guessed he would tell me. So then I started guessing all of the boys I know, but he said he wasn't any of them. And then I fell asleep."

The girls hummed, a romantic and curious sound.

"And did you ask him," began Ami, "if he was… you know who?"

There was a moment of silence before Usagi answered quietly, "No. I wanted to, but… it wouldn't be… _him_."

"It could be, Usagi," pointed out Rei. "Of all the boys we know, he seems to be the most similar."

"We've been over this before," said Makoto. "Usagi, they look alike, they sound alike. You even said they smell alike. Why couldn't it be him?"

"Girls!" Minako said in a loud whisper. "Be careful what you're saying!" There was a sound of shuffling and Mamoru raised his eyebrow, but took a long drink of his coffee and pretended that he wasn't listening.

"Oh, Minako, relax!" said Makoto, though her voice had dropped in volume. "He doesn't know what we're talking about. Besides, it's way too loud in here. He probably can't even hear us."

"But Mina-chan's right," said Usagi. "Let's change the subject now. What did you all get for Christmas?"

"Not until you answer my question. Why couldn't it be him?"

Usagi sighed and her voice was much quieter. "Let's be realistic. There are two suave, sophisticated, smart, handsome men in my life. It turns out one of them is interested in me. What are the chances that the other one is, too?"

"Really good if they're the same person!"

"But… he _hates_ me!"

"Oh, he does not either."

"We could ask him. Should I call him over?"

"No! Rei-baka, if you do I'll kill you!"

"Fine, fine. Take a pill."

"Besides, it doesn't matter anymore. I love Tuxedo Kamen. How fickle would it be for me to still be pining over Ma… you know who? It wouldn't be fair. To anyone. Whoever turns out to be Tuxedo Kamen, I'll be happy. I'll love him just the same."

"But there's no reason not to dream and hope that he's the same guy you secretly have a crush on, is it?"

"Sure it is! It's like betraying him in my thoughts! And then I might be really disappointed when I find out who he really is and I… I don't want that to happen. So as of right now, I am officially over…" She cleared her throat. "…you know who."

"If you say so, Odango Atama. I'll believe it when I see it."

"Oh! I just remembered that I'm supposed to go return this sweater for my mom. I'll see you guys later, okay?" They all said a round of goodbyes and Mamoru allowed himself to look over his shoulder as Usagi practically danced out of the arcade, a grin on his lips, before turning back to his near-empty coffee.

It seemed evident that 'you know who' was him, especially when combined with her sleepy confession: "Life doesn't get that perfect."

Which meant that his Odango did not only have a crush on Tuxedo Kamen.

She also had a crush on him.

The thought made him want to jump up and down with glee.

"Sending you love for the holidays, indeed," he murmured cheerfully beneath his breath. If only he had known before, then perhaps the previous night would have turned out quite differently. But what's done is done, he reminded himself, and only one small problem still existed.

She didn't know that the two men she adored were one and the same. She still thought that Chiba Mamoru hated her. Or at least disliked her; he hoped after receiving his gifts she realized he most certainly did not hate her. While at the same time, he could tell that she would be absolutely loyal to his alter-ego, perhaps even if he, Chiba Mamoru, did confess his feelings for her.

But to tell her his secret identity could potentially put her in danger with the Negaverse. He would rather die than let that happen.

Frowning and deep in thought, Mamoru threw a couple dollars onto the counter and stood. He gave a friendly smile to the remaining girls in the booth as they all watched him with curious expressions and smiled back, then made his way to the doors. But just as he was about to leave, Usagi raced in and collided with him full force.

Chuckling, Mamoru reached out to steady her. "Back so soon, Odango?"

She blinked up at him, her face pink from the cold and her hair windblown. "I forgot my bag."

"Ah. How is your vacation going so far?"

She stared at him in awe, her mouth hanging open. She could barely comprehend that he wasn't teasing her, but slowly smiled. "It's been… very good. How about yours?"

"Magical."

She didn't understand the secret grin he was giving her, but it made her heart speed up and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh, I wanted to thank you," she said excitedly, remembering how anxious she'd been to see him before her midnight encounter, "for the moonstones. And the… the rainbows. You—you really made my wishes come true." Her eyes peered up at him curiously, wondering if she should ask him if he'd had anything to do with the kiss, but feeling a lump of nervousness suddenly clog her throat.

"You're welcome, Usagi-chan. You deserve to have every wish granted."

"Hey! Usagi! Mamoru!" They both turned to see Motoki watching them and grinning proudly. He pointed up. "For tradition's sake?"

They looked up and noticed the mistletoe hanging peacefully above them. Usagi quickly looked away, an embarrassed blush deepening her already colored face. Mamoru could hardy contain his grin.

"It IS tradition, Odango," he said gently, tracing a finger down her cheek, just as he had the night before.

Her eyes peered up at him from beneath her lashes. "But, you see, I…"

"I promise," he interrupted, "that Tuxedo Kamen will understand."

Her jaw dropped. "You were listening?"

"Couldn't be helped." He promptly stopped whatever outraged protest that was about to come out by slipping his hands onto her waist and pressing his lips to hers.

Usagi gasped and the kiss was over before she had begun to grasp what was happening. Mamoru smiled down on her, not a cocky or proud smile, but something very affectionate and understanding. "Merry Christmas, Usa."

She barely heard the arcade doors whoosh open as he left. Her head was spinning, the noise of the arcade dulled in her ears, and she found that her knees were weak and shaking after the moment. Slowly, consciousness began to grip her again and a jumble of voices reached her ears.

"Yeah, I can tell that you are SO over him."

"Are you okay? You look kind of pale."

"Was it 'magical,' Usagi-chan?"

"Are you listening? Hello?"

"Oh my god, don't pass out, Usagi!"

"Is anyone in there? _Uuuusssaaaaaaa_!"

She inhaled a shaky breath and turned to face her friends who were gathered around her with taunting, though somewhat nervous, smiles. They hushed at the startled look on her face. Finally, she found her voice, licked her lips, and whispered,

"Espresso and chocolate."

----- 

The gray sky began to snow as Mamoru all but pranced back to his apartment. White lights glittered at him from every shop window and the eves of all the houses. Red ribbon embraced every tree. Wreathes hung from every door. The music of Christmas carols and charity bells glided on the crisp, snow-filled air.

Mamoru loved Christmas.

Two kisses in less than twelve hours. The remembrance made him warmer inside than any cup of coffee, hot chocolate, or wine. Two kisses. Two beautiful, fabulous, magical kisses.

Mamoru loved Usagi.

He couldn't believe it when his feet did a tiny skip beneath him of their own accord and he found himself laughing aloud as he entered the lobby of his apartment. It was empty. More carols hummed on the slightly-warmer air and the remnants of snow recently tracked in were melting on the carpet.

Mamoru loved snow.

And Christmas.

And Usagi.

He hummed along to the music in the elevator. His toes did a tiny dance outside his doorway. For the first time since he'd moved in, he left his door open on the off-chance that some passing neighbor would care to stop in for some holiday tea. He wished he had a plate of chocolate or cookies and made a mental note to pick some up next time he was at the store.

Life was looking up.

Sliding off his shoes, Mamoru walked to the sliding glass door that overlooked a small balcony and the great city of Tokyo beyond. With a sigh, he leaned his forehead on the cold pane of glass and watched silently as the snow filled up the streets. All of the lights below made the world look like a star-filled sky. Albeit a white one. With people and buildings and…

It just looked beautiful.

He'd kissed her twice. And once when she even knew it was him.

And she liked it. She liked him. Mamoru! Baka! Jerk! She _liked_ him! When had it happened? How long had this gone on? How long had he been so stupid and blind and ignorant, to go on teasing this amazing girl when all along he could have been kissing her?

How long had he liked her?

Life was changing so fast. A week ago—loved her though he may have—he'd never dreamt that something would come of it. He'd never imagined she could feel the same way or that he stood even a sliver of a chance. But now! Everything was different.

She liked him.

He loved her!

He laughed. His breath left a splotch of fog on the window and with a pinky finger he traced a little heart onto it. Snickering at his own cheesiness, he shook his head and thrust the offending hand into a pocket. Then he laughed again, feeling like all of the happiness he'd missed out on since childhood was now filling him up at once, making it impossible to contain, like a cup with too much milk, or an ocean with too much water, or a heart with too much— But then why did he want so much more? He wanted to fill up with love and love her every second of every day for the rest of his life. He never, ever wanted to stop feeling this way. Could such a thing last?

For a brief second, Mamoru found himself overcome with fear that these emotions—this near-unbearable explosion of love and joy—would desert him as quickly as it had come.

But then he thought of her kisses, and her little smiles, and her little lips whispering his name (HIS name) as she drifted off to sleep, and he knew this love wasn't going anywhere.

He laughed again.

A gentle knock startled Mamoru and he spun around.

And there she was. Beautiful in a brown skirt and pale pink sweater, the same that she'd been wearing only moments ago—hours ago?—in the arcade. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her eyes were watching him with a lovely mixture of amusement, mocking, and comfort. Mamoru's knees weakened as her lips curled even more at his surprised expression. She had the look of a girl who had just caught her boyfriend buying an engagement ring.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?"

Usagi's gaze fell to the ground, allowing Mamoru a moment to compose himself. She was silent a long moment, occasionally opening her lips as if to speak, then pausing and shutting them again. Finally, she forced herself to look at him and rubbed nervous palms on her skirt. "I realized that I never did ask you what you wanted for Christmas."

It was clear that she had come for a very different reason but Mamoru smiled anyhow, the answer ringing loudly in his head.

'You you you you you…'

His grin growing, he shrugged. "Nothing you can fit under a Christmas tree."

Usagi giggled. "You're copying me."

"Yes, I am."

"Well, you certainly proved me wrong on two occasions. And my third wish, well…" Her eyes turned up to him, deep and mischievous. He so badly wanted to sweep across the room and kiss her and hold her and not stop until New Year's. "At first I wondered if it was just a coincidence," she continued, "but in the arcade today when you…" Usagi's mouth ran dry and she found herself digging a toe into the carpet. In a whisper, she spoke her thoughts, more to herself, "And to think that all this time, it was you."

"So my secret's out," Mamoru murmured, acknowledging that he couldn't have kept it from her anyhow. He wanted her, needed her, loved her too much. He wanted to be everything for her. And knowing that she liked him—Mamoru—anyway…

Snapping from her thoughts, Usagi's eyes lit up with their natural, passionate glow. "Put your shoes on."

"What?"

"Put your shoes on. And your jacket. I have to show you something."

Not bothering to question, Mamoru did as he was told, watching her from the corner of his eye all the while. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

----- 

It was still snowing when they reached the city center. Forcing Usagi to take his jacket (she was hardly dressed for the weather), Mamoru felt like perhaps the cold should have bothered him. But when her little hand slipped into his to pull him through the crowded sidewalks, he felt any eminent cold melt away to be replaced with the familiar warmth of blankets and campfires and tomato soup.

"Isn't it beautiful?" She stopped and Mamoru followed her gaze, up and up and up, to the top of Tokyo's largest tree, decorated with giant glass balls, rainbow-colored lights, silver ribbons, and shimmering stars.

"Tokyo's Christmas tree."

"Mmhmm." There was a silence as they stood hand in hand, before Usagi inhaled a deep breath. Her eyes were glued to the highest, most brilliant star. "You know they've put it up every year since before my parents were even born? They put a lot of work into it. But after seeing it year after year, people seem to become immune to its presence. Look: no one's looking at it but us. No one even sees it." 

Mamoru looked around and noticed that she was right. Though the square was full of people, not one gave the tree a passing glance, too caught up in the hustle and bustle of last-minute shopping.

"Which would be kind of sad, except…"

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Except?"

"Except that makes it really easy to do this." Usagi gave a sweeping look of the square, before lifting the red cord that surrounded the tree and ducking underneath it.

"What are you—?"

"Come on, quick! While no one's looking!" she hissed as her legs disappeared beneath the boughs of the tree. Mamoru looked around and realized that no one was watching; no one had noticed Usagi's disappearance. Clearing his throat and shaking his head, he dove beneath the cord and quickly squirmed under the tree.

It was much darker and much warmer underneath the tree's protective cover. The ground was completely dry and covered with pine needles, the scent of which surrounded Usagi and Mamoru as they crawled as close to the trunk as they could. There was no room to sit up among the low branches and Mamoru found himself flopping onto his back beside a giggling girl, and he couldn't help but laugh himself.

Amid the chuckles, he found himself looking up into the darkness of the tree. Thousands of pinpricks of light could be seen above in warm hues of gold, red, blue, and green. He breathed in the rich, Christmas scent and rested his head back on his palms.

When Usagi's laughter died out, she also took a moment to enjoy the view, and the aroma of pine combined with Mamoru's cologne that lingered on the jacket she wore made her feel dizzy and intoxicated. "Wow," she breathed.

Mamoru tilted his head to look at her, analyzing how the glow of the Christmas lights turned her skin a reddish-orange and how all of the sparkles reflected in her eyes.

"Usa?"

She looked at him, her heart jolting at the endearment: the same he had used after kissing her in the arcade. But not the same he'd used as Tuxedo Kamen. "Yeah?"

"Why are we under Tokyo's Christmas tree?"

She laughed and rolled to her side, curling her knees up to her chest and attempting to hide her face in them as a blush crept into her cheeks. "Well…" Her fingers began to idly play with the bed of needles. "Something occurred to me."

"And what's that?"

She took a deep breath to collect her thoughts. "For one, I realized that I was wrong when I told you that what I wanted wouldn't fit under a Christmas tree. For another, I hoped that you were wrong when you said what you wanted wouldn't either. And the last thing I realized is that…" She licked her lips, not daring to look up at him. "You misunderstood me when I said I wanted a kiss from the dreamiest man I know. Although what you gave me was nice…" She was grateful that the orange glow hid her burning cheeks. "…I really meant that I wanted a kiss from you. From Mamoru. And kisses under mistletoe don't count." She finished in a whisper and forced her stare to meet him, though she wanted to shrivel away from shyness.

But Mamoru's expression—though slightly bewildered at first—quickly slipped into a tender smile and Usagi's heart sighed in relief. He stretched out a hand and took a curl of golden bangs between his fingers, marveling at her adorable innocence, matched with such a brave confession. As she closed her eyes against his touch, a smile caressing her mouth, Mamoru slowly shifted to his side and moved to embrace her, slipping his arms beneath her petite body and cradling her up against his chest. She purred contentedly below him and Mamoru knew that life had never felt so perfect.

Placing a kiss to her temple, he watched as she stirred and raised glowing, profoundly intense blue eyes up to his.

"Do you still want to know what I want for Christmas?" he whispered.

She batted her eyelashes nervously and nodded her head, tucking her body deeper into his embrace.

Touching his nose to hers, he continued, so quietly not even the tree could have heard him, "To make every one of your wishes come true."

As his lips met hers, Usagi felt herself floating on the peace and security and love that surrounded her, and she returned the kiss with every ounce of passion she had, wrapping her arms around his neck and praying, hoping, knowing that this was the love she'd been dreaming about and that it would never, ever go away.

That love tasted like espresso and chocolate.

And smelled like Christmas trees.

_ So have yourself  
A merry little Christmas now. _

Christmas 2004 


End file.
